When in Rome...

Trevi Fountain



• When in Rome…bring pain killers.  Superhuman powers are required to walk and tour and sight see all day without an aching lower back and heels.  If you don’t bring your favorite pain killers with you, you can always buy the recommended mystery OTC pills or powders from a Roman pharmacy.



Inside the Pantheon



• When in Rome…I wore dresses every day!  I didn’t even know I was capable of that.  But it was nice – I wore mostly flow-y sundresses, some that I’ve bought at open air markets here in Italy.  The happy feeling of prettiness subtracted some from the awkward feeling of being a gawking tourist.



Vatican



• When in Rome…everyone speaks English.  And unlike in Sicily, the servers and shopkeepers aren’t amused or appreciative of a bumbling American trying  to practice her Italian.  In Rome, it’s like the folks are thinking, “I speak English, you speak English, let’s just speak your language and get this transaction completed.”



Changing of the Vatican guard.



• When in Rome…However, the taxi drivers speak Italian.  And only Italian.  And if you speak a little Italian to them, they’ll happily ramble on during your ride, leaving you to smile and nod.



Narrow steps up to the cupola of St. Peters Basillica.



• When in Rome…Americans really are loud.  That’s a well-known stereotype, right? – the “loud American.”  But unfortunately, it seems to be true.  Granted, Dinosaur and I are quiet people when we’re together; we don’t have a need to shout at each other.  It did dawn on me that if we were with a larger group of English-speakers, our conversation at dinner might be a bit more jovial and voluminous.  And perhaps Americans seem loud to me because my ear recognizes the language.  I tune out the other languages buzzing in the café, but English pricks my ears and therefore seems louder?  But alas, those large women with the Midwestern accents at the Vatican entrance were really screeching at each other.  Oh well, the stereotype lives on.



View from the cupola.



• When in Rome…afternoon gelato is a must.  And after-dinner gelato.  Every day.  The best (and I’m talking the best I’ve ever had, ever) is at San Crispano.  Second best is Geolitti.  This being said, there’s really no such thing as “bad” gelato.  There are just varying levels of delicious and swoon-worthy.

Down the cupola stairs.

• When in Rome…the club-foot beggars scared me.  I feel bad even admitting that, as it’s not their fault.  But their deformity is so grotesque, and it looks almost like it was done to them by someone or something.  Which makes me remember that horrendous scene in Slumdog Millionaire where the child’s eyes are burned out so he’ll bring in more money while he sings on the street and begs.  And my life is quite pleasant and charmed, naïve even to an extent, and it’s unpleasant for me to contemplate that such atrocities actually happen.  So they scared me.

More cupola stairs (580 total!)

• When in Rome…Dinosaur and I realized that we’d started dating exactly 5 years ago.  Thanks, Ultimate Frisbee!

Dinosaur's favorite painting in the Vatican.

• When in Rome…You will be accosted by relentless Indian dudes wanting to take your picture or sell you a rose.  Try to take a self-photograph of yourself in front of a monument or enjoy an amorous smooch with your sweetheart and it’s like flies to honey. 

• When in Rome…Cutting line is not as easy as so many Europeans make it look.

The market in Rome.

• When in Rome…Ordering “vino rosso della casa” to quench your thirst during a meal is still the way to go.  No reason to pay upwards of €50 for an unknown bottle of wine when €4-6 for a liter of house wine is just as delicious and thirst-quenching to a dinosaur and dragon’s undiscerning pallet.

• When in Rome…Afternoon showers are the best.  After a long day of sight-seeing and wandering through dirty sidewalks, dusty grounds, and scantily air-conditioned buildings, an afternoon shower (followed by afternoon gelato) is heaven.

• When in Rome…Surprisingly, most public bathrooms present the beautiful trifecta of being free of charge, containing toilet seats, and being stocked with toilet paper.  However, the one time you let your guard down and forget your tissues and hand sanitizer at the hotel, you will be sorely disappointed.

Setting up for a concert in the colloseum.

• When in Rome…Take pictures. 

• And when in Rome…soak in the magnificence of the ancient surroundings.  It is mind-boggling to think of how many centuries of human beings, and who specifically, have walked among that awe-inspiring city.